Sunday, May 27, 2012

Motherly Moments

Everyone asks me, how do you like being a mother?  What was the thing that most suprised you?  What's the hardest thing?  What's the best thing?  The list goes on and on.  I guess what I most want to say is that I love being a mother.  If I could freeze time and keep Eden just the way she is right now, I would do it in a second.  Except for the whole progressing, agency thing...I guess I have to let her change.  I often just watch my sweet little girl and wonder how I ever found happiness before, and then I realize, I just didn't know what true happiness was.  The best times are in the evenings when Nathan and I can play and laugh and sit in awe of this little spirit and be amazed that she's ours.

Some things I want to remember about my perfect little one are...
  • The way her hair poofs up on the right side on her head because of her cowlick.  We've decided that we always need to live in Utah or Idaho where the poof is popular because otherwise, she's doomed.
  • The way she just stares at me until I look at her and then gets a huge grin and gets so excited she tips over.  At which point I'm laughing so hard I can't help but drop everything I'm doing and play with her for a few minutes.  At which point, I sit her back up and we start all over again.
  • She is amazed at everything.  She will just sit by me and watch me do things because most of the time I'm moving things or openings things and she thinks it's amazing.
  • She is oblivious to the fact that she could move if she wanted to.  She just stares at a toy when she throws it with a look on her face like, "Great!  You did it again Eden, now what are you going to play with?!"  And then she starts looking for something within her reach.
  • She squeals with delight anytime Nathan or I pay attention to her and she loves playing more than anything.
  • She matches my excitement level.  If I talk in an excited voice, she starts squealing and kicking and laughing...if I start talking quietly right after that she'll calm down and just watch me.
  • Most of the time she sleeps through the night.
I have to stop myself here or I could go on and on and on.  Mostly, I'm just so grateful to have her.  One quick story and then I'll be done.

Eden didn't sleep last night.  Like AT ALL.  As in, from 7pm Saturday night until 7pm Sunday night she slept for a cumulative total of about 3 hours.  Most of the time she sleeps 12 hours at night and then takes two 2 hour naps during the day.  Instead, she just laid in her bed SCREAMING for hours.  Nathan can sleep through that somehow...I cannot.  So, I ended up with her for hours on end.  Every hour or so, I would put her back down and she would SCREAM for another 45-60minutes until I gave in again and picked her back up.  This is the first time she has ever done this.  I didn't know what to do.  All I knew was that I was so tired, I had to pick her up because at least I could doze while she slept in my arms.  Nathan was so sweet after I woke him up and told him what had been happening.  He took her at 5 and kept her quiet until 10am when he kindly woke me up for church.  I guess the positive light to this is that I haven't been able to sleep until 10am since...I don't know when.

I guess I'm saying this mostly out of amazement for mothers everywhere.  I know that my mom sat up with all eight of us on many nights rocking us at night when she felt she would collapse of exhaustion.  Because of my experience last night, I have been thinking of her all day, grateful for her sacrifice which I will never be able to repay.  I think mothers truly are the most amazing people this world has to offer, for my mother taught me more about Christ's sacrifice through her never-ending example than anything I was ever told.  I hope that I can be that light for my children, I hope that I can be that example.  I love you, mom!