Being Present

Sometimes there is so much going on, so many things for me to pay attention to, that I can't focus on anything and suddenly, nothing gets done and no one got the attention they needed from me.  This week has been a little hectic to say the least.  We're considering a home, I had 4 sisters to visit teach (that's what I get for procrastinating until the last week of the month), a pack meeting to plan and attend,  a few trainings to do, home visits for our primary kids, fitting in seeing the home and meeting with agents and lenders, Nathan is coaching ultimate frisbee, so he's had two games and practices on the days they haven't had games, both kids are sick (temps of about 100 and wanting to be held all day), paperwork to complete, people to call, and errands to run in order to get the necessary documentation completed.  We've been a little stressed. 

Today I looked at those sweet babies of mine with their hot, sweaty hair pressed against my once cleaned shirt, snot and tears drenching my shoulders, needing so badly to be loved; and I realized that while my arms were around them, my mind was so far away and my blood pressure was rising thinking of everything I should be doing.  Now, this week, there is a lot to do, and all of it is important, I can't spend all of my time being present with my children.  But I could spend some time totally present, couldn't I?  I could turn off my brain and know that right now is mommy time, and everything else can wait.

I heard this quote on a powerofmoms.com podcast.  "Being present means that my mind and heart are where my feet are."  I'm sure working on that.  Working on having specific moments during the day when I'm not only playing with my children, I'm THINKING about playing with them, drinking in the moment, capturing a picture with my heart, really being with them: being present.

for all my toddler mommas

I think by now, you know that I am obsessed with reading.  And currently my obsession lies within finding books, any book to help me be a better mom.  I just ordered a book from Amazon called, "The Toddler Busy Book". The book is written by Trish Kuffner and is targeted for 1 1/2-3 year olds.  She has another one for Preschoolers (ages 3-6). Now when I say I "just" ordered it, I mean it.  As in, I just read the first paragraph for the first time and I had to stop to record it here.  It seriously had me laughing and crying (emotions a mother feels when someone REALLY gets her situation). 

Just listen to this...

"Toddlers are at an interesting stage of development.  They can get around on their own, but they need constant supervision.  They understand most of what they hear but are usually unable to communicate their wants and needs effectively.  They want to do everything for themselves, but their skills and abilities are limited.  They want to try everything, and most of what they do is motivated by an interest in cause and effect.  ("Let's see what happens when...")"

Yes, I think this is going to be a good book for me.  (The idea of the book is to give lots of ideas of activities to keep your sweet, crazy child entertained and learning.)  I love the premise.  I loved the first paragraph.  My next few days' reading looks promising.

advice for a great marriage: marry a good man

It sure makes life better with this man by my side.  Scenes like this occur every day.  I ran across this particular picture from when Eden was 10 months old.  It made my heart skip a beat and I had to share.

March's Power: Patience

A "power" from the book Deliberate Mothering:  12 Powers of Peace, Purpose, Order, and  Joy.

The mother who was in charge of writing this topic for the book is a mother of 5 children under 4 years old; an older daughter, and then two sets of twins. Her name is Catherine Arveseth and just from reading her little section I look up to her immensely.  I mean, who better to write about the subject of patience?

One of my favorite things she says is that she was really patient before she had children...I think most of us feel that way.  She shared Wikipedia's definition of patience...

            "The state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties."

In other words, we can't really know if we have patience until we are pushed beyond our limits.    Mothering is hard because our children are always changing, always in a new stage and thus, we can never get comfortable with our patience, they are AMAZING at finding new ways to test us.

For example:  Yesterday, I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day.  Eden came in and was playing in the cupboard beneath my feet (a daily occurrence) and then she scampered out of the room.  After about 10 minutes, I came out and found her proudly peeling the backing off of ALL my panty liners.  "Look mom!  Stickers!" 

She was so proud of her art.  I mean, if that wasn't $4 worth of something I needed, or something slightly less awkward, you could really appreciate the way they are wrapped so well around the handle of the laundry basket.

                              Look at this innocent little face.  She honestly thinks they're stickers!

Don't you think she'll love this picture when she's a teenager?  I'm already excited about my moment of revenge:)  Hanging this picture with a caption reading "This is Eden Doutre" all over her high school.  Perfect!

This month I am going to try to pause an extra minute to breathe before I act.  That is my goal in the patience category.  I leave you for today with another quote from the book from Ann Voskamp, "The moment I am most repelled by a child's behavior, is my sign that I need to draw closest to that child."

a girl and her umbrella

The other day we had a great rainstorm.  The kind that has winter written all over it and freezes your fingertips just thinking about it.  Eden was convinced that she should play in it and thought it would be a great idea to wear all of her winter gear to do so.  She played for a good 30 minutes and still talks about the worms she found and the puddles she splashed in.  Just another reminder to make sure I'm savoring the little things in life.