Accepting Myself

I realize that I've been a little MIA, we have this terrible four week cold going around and my kids got it.  Blah!  Sleeping is rough when you have to suck on a pacifier but your nose is too stuffy to breathe through.  (Talk about acceptance!  But I've already journaled about this kind of acceptance this month.)

This last week I've really been thinking about something that I think is the most important kind of acceptance, and I can't believe it wasn't on my radar until now.  It's acceptance of me.  I don't know about the rest of you, but whether you are a wife, mother, single, divorced, old or young I think we all have pieces lacking in this area.

Because I've been focusing on acceptance helping me be a better mother and wife (because that is my own personal stage of life) I have to really think about how my thoughts about myself affect my family.  I wouldn't say that I am terrible at beating myself up, most of the time I'm pretty positive.  But I don't know that I give myself enough credit.

I am the only mother my children know.  To them, I am perfect.  I am just what they need.  So why do I spend SO much time thinking about all the things I could be doing better.  Do you know what?  I could be better, but I'm also doing a lot of things really well.  And my kids love me for both of those parts of me.  I'm working on accepting me the way my kids accept me.  Accepting me because I love them with everything I am and THAT is enough.  They accept me because I am trying to improve. 

I started setting weekly goals each week (I am not very good at keeping up with goals long term, so I have to set daily tasks for myself to accomplish things...baby steps).  These goals have really helped because I only allow myself to plan daily goals that I KNOW I can accomplish.  When I sit down, I know realistically how my days go, and I know how many little things I can fit into my day.  Some weeks I know that I don't have time to focus on having my house spotless because I'm trying to better a different part of me.  Sometimes I only exercise for 30 minutes a day this week because I want my house work to be a priority.

In setting small goals each week, I've found that slowly I feel more on top of the things going on in my life.  Suddenly, the things that are lacking that week are okay because I CHOSE to let it lack.  Does that make sense?  I have power over my life again and the parts of me that I'm lacking in are okay because they are not my priority this week.  This has brought me great acceptance.  Acceptance of myself while working on improving myself.

Boy this journey has been good for me.  I'm beginning to understand why the book calls these topics "powers".  I feel empowered by them.

I realize that this picture has nothing to do with the topic.  It's just a throw back to Halloween.  But it is a reminder to me of who I'm doing all this brain work for.  In the corporate world, people have trainings and set goals with management.  Well in the "company" of motherhood, I'm it (although thank goodness Nathan is by my side to help me figure it out).  So my work everyday is meeting with myself, finding what works and what doesn't and coming up with planning strategies that will work for my business; my husband and children.